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      From :  "Conflict Management Monday Newsletter" 
            <ezine@cheshiremediation.org> 

      To :  adrsi@hotmail.com 
      Subject :  Conflict Management Monday, Conflict as Opportunity 
      Date :  Mon, 27 Oct 2003 01:01:06 -0600 



                  Conflict Mangement Monday

                        Welcome

                          
                        We offer the following services: 
                        Divorce & Post-Divorce Mediation
                        Parent-Youth Mediation
                        Small Claims Court Mediation
                        Victim-Offender Conferences
                        Peer Mediation in the Schools
                        Organizational Conflict Consulting
                        Eldercare Mediation
                        Trainings
                         
                         
                         
                         
                         
                         
                         
                         
                         
                         
                         
                         
                         
                         
                         


                           
                   10/27/03
                  Dear Jerry, 
                  Enclosed is your current edition of Conflict Management 
                  Monday, a publication of Cheshire Mediation that gives you 
                  practical tips on how to resolve conflicts and manage 
                  differences. I hope you enjoy it. 
                  Greg Hessel
                  Approximate Reading Time: 1 minute 30 seconds
                  _____________________________________________________
                  Conflict as Opportunity
                  The Chinese character for the word crisis is the character 
                  for the word danger on top of the character for the word 
                  opportunity. Similarly, conflict can be either danger or 
                  opportunity. But what makes the difference. 
                  Honestly, I havent met many people who enter conflict saying 
                  to themselves, Oh how great. I have just been presented with 
                  another opportunity to grow! Conflict makes most of us 
                  uncomfortable and we just want it to go away. But the irony is 
                  that in wanting to make it go away we often fail to look 
                  honestly at the conflict and make the changes needed to help 
                  it disappear. And our denial guarantees that the conflict 
                  continues. What we need is the courage to look at the conflict 
                  squarely  which means the courage to look at ourselves. 
                  The first thing that must shift for us is the belief that if 
                  only other people change the conflict would go away. This 
                  belief is based in deep denial. The strategy of trying to get 
                  others to change has most likely never worked for us in the 
                  past, yet we continue to try it. The only real leverage in 
                  managing conflict comes from looking at ourselves and being 
                  willing to change. 
                  So what opportunities might lie in conflict? What good could 
                  possibly come out of something so difficult?
                  I believe conflict is a sign to us that something needs 
                  healing and it invites us to turn our attention to what is 
                  wounded. As our attention turns towards parts of our body when 
                  they ache, and we often make subsequent appointments with 
                  doctors, conflict is a sign that all is not well. Avoidance 
                  will not heal things. 
                  In order to make things whole, we need to look squarely at the 
                  mess within us. What are my beliefs about myself and the 
                  person I am in conflict with? What are my buttons that are 
                  being pushed? What would it take to heal these buttons? Do I 
                  believe that I can heal them? What am I most afraid of? These 
                  are the deep places that conflict invites us to explore. In 
                  these questions lies the possibility of great freedom. In 
                  avoiding them we proceed at our own risk. 
                  *******************************************************
                  Training Calendar 
                  November 6 & 7, 2003
                  Great Meetings: The Art of Facilitation. Americans waste 
                  millions of dollars a year on unproductive meetings. This 
                  training will help your meetings become more efficient and 
                  productive. Taught in 12 hours, this workshop covers the role 
                  of the facilitator, agenda planning, how to manage difficult 
                  people, how to effectively use ground rules, process skills 
                  that give the facilitator an alternative to open discussion, 
                  and plenty of interactive exercises to practice. If you feel 
                  like you spend too much time in meetings, this training is for 
                  you. Cost of this training is $145. Call 800-757-3887 to 
                  register. 
                  What participants say about Great Meetings



                  November 12, 2003
                  Let's Talk: How to Communicate Effectively in the Midst of 
                  Tension: If you either avoid conflict, or dive into it with 
                  rough edges, this training is for you. In six hours we will 
                  explore how you can improve your communication in tense 
                  situations and leverage change. You will learn:
                   What to do with strong emotions
                   How to identify the real problem
                   Assumptions: how they form and tools to work with them
                   How to prepare for a difficult conversation
                   How to use listening to de-escalte tensions
                   Key mind sets for working it out
                   When to work it out and when to give it a rest
                   Other barriers to communicating effectively
                  Cost is $95 (ask us about our discount for HR professionals). 
                  Call 800-757-3887 to register.

                  What participants say about Let's Talk 
                  ___________________________________________
                  For more information about our services, click the following 
                  links:
                  Divorce Mediaiton
                  Organizational Consulting
                  Elder Care Mediation
                  Parent Youth Mediation (free to residents of Cheshire County) 
                  Upcoming Trainings
                  __________________________________________
                  Greg Hessel, Director
                  Cheshire Mediation
                  181 Washington Street
                  Keene, NH 03431
                  ghessel@mfs.org
                  603-357-6873 
                  800-757-3887 in New England
                  (c) 2002 Cheshire Mediation. All rights reserved. You are free 
                  to use material from the Conflict Management Monday eZine in 
                  whole or part as long as you include complete attribution, 
                  including live web site link and e-mail link. Please notify 
                  Cheshire Mediation when and where the material will appear.
                  __________________________________________
                  Please feel free to pass Conflict Management Monday along to 
                  any associate you feel may benefit form this information.
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                  click here
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